"Just quickly"

Okay another rant today.
Today I reaffirmed my belief that a vet should never be caught out at the receptionist's desk (unless pretending to be a receptionist). A new client came in to ask a couple of questions about his dog's skin condition. By "new client" I mean we have never seen this guy before he randomly wandered in off the street. I had just finished off a large piece of cake & a coffee so was in a fairly happy place still high on sugar and caffeine and stupidly admitted to being a vet. So we had the usual flea talk (because 99% of the time it's FLEAS) and then he piped up with, "Well, I've got him out in the truck, can I just bring him in for a quick look?"
I replied, "Of course! But we will have to book you in for a consult and there will be a fee."
"But why?" he whined like a kid in a lolly shop who's been told that the treats are not "all you can eat for free". "It's just a quick look!"
Yes, and then a quick diagnosis and then you'll probably want a discount on the treatment, or maybe I should just give you that for free as well!

Why can't these people understand that if I just had a "quick look" at every animal that walked though the door I would very quickly go out of business (or in my case get fired as I don't even own the business - either way I'll be living under a bridge setting traps to catch wandering cats for my dinner). You wouldn't ask an accountant to have a quick look at your books, or a mechanic to have a quick look under the hood for that weird knocking sound...on the other hand maybe these people do. Personally I wouldn't even think of going to my hairdressers without an appointment (in fact, I have to book three weeks in advance), let alone dentist or doctor, and yet every day we have people wandering in off the street towing a dog and three screaming children and then complaining because the vet can't see them IMMEDIATELY.

This is why I very "quickly" run and hide in my room when I see someone struggling to open our new pensioner-resistant sliding door. That way the nurse can tell them the vet is very busy but she can make an appointment for ten minutes' time - this always separates the chaff from the wheat and ensures that I am treated like an actual doctor (where you wait a minimum of twenty minutes on a good day after booking your appointment two weeks in advance) rather than a human version of Google. And if that seems cold-hearted and money-grubbing to you then I challenge you to walk into your nearest doctor/dentist/lawyer's office and demand to be seen immediately for free just to "ask a few questions" and see how far you get.

On the subject of screaming children, yesterday I had a visit that reminded me why I am still single and child-free. Ever try holding a conversation with someone about their aging dog and the looming presence of the angel of death with two screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) children doing high-speed laps through the clinic? Eventually they stopped when one pulled the Christmas tree over onto itself while the other attempted to strangle the wretched dog (which explained why the dog had a "kill me please" look on its face when they arrived). Finally the mother grabbed both her darlings and said, "I'll just put them in the car then," while I prescribed meds for the poor dog. Next time I see them coming I am going to lie in wait in my room with the blow-dart gun (I've been practising) and sedate both the little animals before they set foot through the door. Or maybe I'll just lock them in a cage and they can play "Prison Break" while mummy & I decide what to do with the dog. Either way they better hope I'm not on duty next time they visit!