Slippery customers

I recently had my first UK snake bite victim brought in - a big boofhead of a golden retriever who had stuck his nose in the wrong place. He came bouncing in happy as larry, the only evidence of his tangle with the angry adder: a swollen nose. His owner insisted that he had done it on purpose, as he was due to be castrated the following day and now the surgery was to be put off for a couple of weeks to be on the safe side.
"Bloody men will do anything eh!"
Well, I'm sure that most guys out there would agree.
So he was sent home with anti-inflammatories & anti-histamines and a disgruntled owner.

He had the last laugh in the end. On the morning of the dreaded surgery his owner rang up.
"We're going to be a little late. My husband took him for a walk and he managed to find a bitch on heat and is currently tied!" (The dog that is, not the husband...this is not that kind of blog!)

Well, I guess you can't blame the poor guy for having one last desperate attempt to hang on to his manhood!