Off-road...literally

I recently completed a 4WD course and it got me thinking about all the times I could have used a 4WD on my first job, where I was expected to drive some pretty dodgy roads in a 2WD truck (especially in winter in New Zealand when everything is covered in mud).

Like the time my colleague and I had to pull over to allow a truck to pass on a narrow farm road and, despite the fact that I specifically kept two wheels on the road, managed to get stuck. Luckily I wasn't on my own and my colleague had enough muscles to get us back on track. Though she wasn't too happy about getting covered in mud as the wheels sought traction in the wet ground.

Or the time I was directed into a sheep yard which was only covered in about 2 inches of mud, but felt the wheels start to spin and had to do a very rapid turn and fishtail straight back out again before getting stuck, scattering mud-spattered sheep and shepherds as I went.

The icing on the cake however, was when I was directed down the wrong road in the middle of nowhere only to find it ending in a deep mud pit. Unable to turn around, I had to reverse carefully back down the road. On one side was a steep embankment (more of a cliff-face) and on the other, an equally steep, muddy slope dropping about 2-3 storeys into a yard, also filled with mud. As I reversed, my mantra was, "Don't hit the edge, don't hit the edge!" As though this was more a prophecy rather than warning, I felt my rear tyre slip ever so slightly downwards.
"Oh crap!" I yelled and slammed the gears into first in a desperate attempt to halt the slow downward slide. But it was too late, the truck was sliding on the slick clay and all I could do was clutch the steering wheel helplessly and hope like hell it wasn't going to roll. Actually, I even recall thinking, "Hmmm, always wondered what it would be like to roll a truck!"

I had plenty of time to contemplate my impending doom as it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. Though, I must say, as my life didn't flash before my eyes, I assumed it wasn't yet "the end of the road" for me. The truck slid gracefully SIDEWAYS down the slope and came to a stop with the cab at a 45degree angle in the muddy yard. I opened the door and fell out into the knee-high mud and, if there hadn't been an old fulla watching the whole scenario from where he was working on his tractor, would have fallen to my knees and kissed the muddy ground. As it was, I tried to act cool (not that I wanted him to think I did this sort of thing regularly!) and nonchalantly called out to him,
"Yeah, thought I might take the shortcut back. Any chance of a tow?"
"I can't believe you didn't roll mate," he said as we hooked the truck to the tractor. "You got bloody close!"
I looked back up the slope and realised just how close I had come, not to death, but to the far more mortifying situation of having to explain to my boss why the truck was upside down in a mud pit in the middle of nowhere.
"Oh well," I joked, "when you live on the edge sometimes you get a bit too close!"

We managed to pull the truck out in one piece and I thanked my lucky stars that the old guy had been there. Though, to be fair, he was the one that sent me down that bloody road in the first place! Okay, so now he thought I was the worst driver in the world (believe it or not, I'm actually NOT that bad) and would have a great time regaling the story to all his mates in the pub, PLUS I wasn't exactly anonymous with our clinic's name plastered all over my bright red truck BUT at least I was able to drive home, wash the truck down, and have a few day's grace to break the story to my co-workers before the grapevine did!