A new day another bloody blog

Welcome to my blog. I thought it was high time I added to the ever-mounting drivel on the net, and as I am soon to be travelling the world (all dependent on the soon-to-be applied for visa) it probably won't hurt to get a bit of practice in.

Too thin-skinned to leave NZ for the UK in the middle of their winter, I decided to first spend a few months living in Aussie and scratching together a few more $$ for the trip. I scored a job on the Sunshine Coast & promptly bought another surfboard.

My first day at work began as any other day in a routine mixed-practice vet clinic: itchy dogs, anorexic cats, scouring puppies etc. It was all going as well as can be expected when one is trying to learn the ropes in a new clinic and figure out what the Aussie equivalent of NZ drugs are (unsurprisingly many are the same but pronounced in a funny accent), when a car pulled up outside and a large woman in a mu mu puffed her way into the clinic.
"I have a snake in my car engine bay and I need it removed."
I hid in my room.
"What type of snake?" asked the vet nurse.
"A carpet snake," she replied.
Now a carpet snake is not just a snake, it is a PYTHON, which in the right proportions can eat a large cat, small dog, or little vet.

Having ascertained that the woman had attempted to call one of the many snake catchers in the region but none were available (how convenient since we don't charge $200/call), I was dragged out of my room under great protest, "But I'm from NEW ZEALAND! We don't have snakes!"
Unfortunately for me the boss was away from the clinic at the time and refused to return until the snake was gone or dead - obviously also not a fan). I humoured the lady by going out to have a look at it while the nurse tried again to call a snake catcher.

IT WAS MASSIVE!!! Thicker than my arm and who knew how long as it was wrapped around all the tube thingies and under the panel around the wheel base near the drivers side of the engine bay. It's head was nowhere to be seen. Now even if I had been brave (or stupid) enough to grab the snake (they're not venomous but still very bitey) there was no way I would be able to compete with a python when it comes to sheer muscle power. This job would require some serious muscles, sedation &/ a long hook to find it's head. Preferably all three.

I went inside to check on the progress of the frantic phone calls. Still no snake catcher. So we rang our friends at the Australia Zoo (it's so cool having Steve Irwin's zoo 40min down the road) to ask them what sedatives we could use without killing the snake (which is illegal in Queensland - not that many people are concerned with that particular law). I hadn't yet thought about how I was to administer said drugs, though I was eyeing up our blow darts (yes, we have blow darts but that's another story). They told me not to try anything and that they would send the "Wildlife Rescue Team" up in an hour or so. I had visions of helicopters with khaki-clad animal activists rappelling down to save the poor defenceless reptile and ran in great excitement to get my camera ready. The clients, however, were not as pleased at this news as they did not want to wait 1.5hours in our un-air conditioned waiting room. Instead they had me ascertain that the snake was not on the engine or radiator and then chose to drive down to the zoo (I did clear this with zoo personnel first). All I can say is that I wouldn't be that keen to drive 40minutes knowing a python was only inches away from my feet separated by a thin panel!
I was a bit disappointed but had to laugh as the woman asked me to ring the zoo as she was departing and request that there be "no cameras" when they arrived!

How's that for a kiwi's first working day in Oz? As Hugh Jackman so eloquently put it in the imaginatively named movie "Australia":
"Welcome to Australia"